Spousal / Partner Relations (Part 2)

In Part 1 of Spousal/Partner Relations in Retirement, I wrote about the importance of you and your spouse to identify to each other what retirement means in terms of roles and responsibilities.  In addition, due to different interests, hobbies, tasks or just ‘chill out time’, I mentioned one train of thought and that is, if you were apart from your partner eight hours a day during your working days, you should plan to be apart approximately four hours a day in retirement.  This enables each partner to have their own time and space.

Elements of a happy relationship

The essential elements of a happy relationship are feeling valued, being appreciated and loved.  When a couple lacks any one of these positive feedbacks, the relationship suffers and the partners drift apart. Accepting the status quo slowly wears away at a couple’s intimacy and bond.

Though it is easy to take each other for granted, the preparation for retirement provides you and your spouse an opportunity to assess and enhance your relationship.

• Are you thoughtful?
• Do you express appreciation?
• Have you a sense of fun and adventure?

These traits among others, add to the quality of your relationship and the satisfaction level between you and your partner.

Suggested actions

• Keep the communication lines open and take time to listen
• Encourage discussion about each other’s issues and concerns with a mindset of finding solutions
• Add spice to your relationship – buying flowers, treating your partner to lunch, say thank you
• Spending quality time together and sharing fun activities

Relationships are like a garden. They require regular care and feeding if they are to grow and become fruitful.

Activity

List some acts of kindness and appreciation you can do for your spouse/partner to let them know how much you love them (i.e. make the coffee/tea in the morning, help with meal preparation, or wash his/her car).