Building a New Social Life in Retirement

I’m often asked by clients, “What can I do to build a new social life when I retire?”

When you think about it, the relationships we have with people from work will change drastically or become a distant memory.  In the beginning, many stay in touch but as months pass, meetings and correspondence dwindle. Eventually, there are occasional thoughts but little to no interaction.  In retirement, we each need to forge a new path, let go of some relationships and build new ones.

Action Plan

To be successful socially, you need to work at keeping up with current friends and be proactive in seeking new ones. This means continually going to social events and gatherings, meeting people and sending out positive signals of interest. Take time to introduce yourself and inquire about the other person.

Ask open-ended questions about their interests and hobbies and listen to their answers. If you show interest in them, in most cases they will reciprocate, and a new relationship is formed. Keep added people to your list of acquaintances and in time some may join your circle of close friends.

When Alice and her husband Ron retired, they moved from Toronto, Ontario to Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, a province that had made a significant impact on the couple from previous vacations. Once settled in their new home, they made an extensive effort to introduce themselves to their neighbors.  They joined a local church, and each Sunday attended the coffee klatch held after the service. They became members of the local bridge club and several other organizations. In a short while, Alice and Ron had a new social circle of friends and felt very much at home.

Questions to Help:

Ask targeted questions to spark meaningful connections when meeting new people.  Here is a sample:

• “What kind of projects or hobbies have you been spending your time on lately?”
• “I’m looking to get more involved in the community.  What are some local groups or causes you really enjoy supporting?”
• “Did you just retire, or have you been retired for a while? How are you adjusting to the change in pace?”
• “What is a skill or subject you’ve always wanted to learn but never had the time for until now?”

As you begin to learn about your new contact, here are sample questions to help deepen the connection:

• “What was the highlight of your week?”
• “What’s a travel destination or local experience you’ve always want to check off your bucket list?”
• “How do you usually spend your weekends?”

Next blog, ‘How you can reward people in your social circle?’

Rick Atkinson, Mister Retirement