What is Happiness?
For years, I’ve researched, written, and coached people on how to retire successfully.
Frequently I’m asked, “What makes for a happy retirement?”
Conventional wisdom often defines happiness as status, (the job you have) financial security, (money in the bank), worldly goods, possessions, (big house / flashy car), lifestyle, and accomplishments.
I have met people who seemed to have it all; who have said they felt something was missing from their life – they weren’t happy! They ask, “I want to be happy. What do I do?
One of my clients, in our first meeting, said, “Rick, for me making money was easy. I bought and sold companies. But I’m not happy” In our discussion, I learned he had no meaningful relationship with his wife, adult children or grandson. He had no outside interests other than making money.
So how do we gain happiness!! In Dan Baker’s book, What Happy People Know, Baker writes about the 12 qualities of happiness: They are:
- Love – to love oneself and others. To be successful in retirement you must believe in and love yourself; that you have the strength to be happy.
2. Optimism – being able to see the value of every experience, good or bad. In life after work, there are ups and downs – one experience were all living through is the changing economy. We’re learning coping skills and looking forward to getting back to normality.
3. Courage – recognizing we sometimes become afraid (like the transition into retirement) but we muster our strength to overcome our fear.
4. A sense of freedom – having choice. As a retired person, I can sit and wait for whatever comes along, or I can tackle the challenges and opportunities of retiring.
5. Proactivity – actively participating in creating your destiny. Such as building your own realistic and well-rounded vision of retirement & creating and implementing a plan to make it happen.
6. Security – Being true to yourself, including making your own decisions, rather than being influenced by others.
7. Health – health and happiness are interdependent. It’s hard to feel happy if you don’t feel healthy, and vice versa. As part of your retirement planning, building and practicing a health and wellness strategy, which includes exercising.
8. Spirituality – having the connection to a higher power, spirit, God or religion. Successful retirees talk about the need to think outside of our self- which can be translated into your artistic abilities, communing with nature, or revisiting your religious roots.
9. Altruism – helping others. Many successful retirees participate in volunteering – this fulfills our sense of purpose and personal satisfaction.
10. Perspective – being able to see shades of gray and knowing how to prioritize problems (challenges) into possibilities and opportunities. Being open- minded, not sweating the small stuff.
11. Humour – Being able to laugh at yourself and being less serious.
12. Purpose – Understanding why you are here on earth and doing the things you were meant to do. In retirement, getting up each morning with an action plan.
Exercise:
Over the next month, review the above list of qualities for happiness. Select one or more to focus on. For example, acting on things you have been procrastinating (becoming proactive).
Extending yourself to help someone else for the joy of it (altruism); or taking better care of your body (health).
At the end of the 30 days, celebrate taking another step to increase your happiness level and enriching your retirement.