Last Saturday, I attended the funeral of Rodney, who was a friend. Just prior to his passing, I, and two others who knew Rodney, visited him in the palliative care unit of a hospital. We had a wonderful conversation about shared experiences, common relationships, and memories. I didn’t expect our friend to die less than 24-hours later.

People deal with death in very different ways. Regardless of your methods, you will likely need some help to cope in your time of loss. The support of family and friends provides necessary sympathy, patience, and understanding. For me, I am fortunate to have friends who knew Rodney to share feelings and experiences with.

When thinking of the stages of grieving – denial, anger, bargaining, resignation and acceptance – currently I’m in the resignation stage moving to acceptance. When in the resignation stage, you start to accept reality. You begin to get balance back in your life and you start looking forward. With acceptance, you truly accept the passing of your loved one. You begin to review your options and make decisions about the rest of your life.

My advice for those facing the death of a friend or spouse, throughout the grieving process, give yourself time to heal. Keep in touch with friends and family. Share your plans, dreams, fears, and apprehensions with them. Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, and other emotions. Find a way to express your feelings through talking, crying, ranting, or whatever else works for you. Attend religious services regularly as faith can act as an anchor in your time of need. Take care of your physical health and be aware of any signs of stress or illness. Speak with your doctor if you feel grief is affecting your health.

Just as you are feeling grief, others are too. Help and support them in their grieving. Offer support to family members and friends. Be honest with your children and grandchildren about what has happened and about how you feel. Encourage them to talk about their feelings. As your sense of grief becomes less intense, start returning to your interests and activities. Remember life is unpredictable and the more you take care of yourself, the easier it will be for you to get through this difficult period.