Frequently, I’m asked, “What makes for a happy retirement?” Conventional wisdom often defines happiness as status (the job you have), financial security (money in the bank), worldly goods and possessions (big house, fancy car), lifestyle, and accomplishments.
I have met many very successful people who seem to have it all; who have said to me, they feel something missing in their life. They aren’t happy! They often ask, “I want to be happy, What can I do?”
What I have come to learn is that things and people do not create happiness. You can have all the money in the world, or know tons of people, but that doesn’t translate into your being happy.
One of my clients, in our first meeting, said, “Rick, for me making money was easy. I bought and sold companies. But I’m not happy.” In our conversation, I learned he had no meaningful relationship with his wife or adult children. He had no interests other than making money. He seemed to be a very sad man.
So how do we gain happiness? In Dan Baker’s book, What Happy People Know, Baker writes about the twelve qualities of happiness. I’ve listed the qualities in relationship with retirement planning.
- Love. To love oneself and others. To be successful in retirement, you have to believe in, and love yourself. That you have the strength to be successful and happy.
2. Optimism. Being able to see the value of every experience, good or bad. In life after work, there are ups and downs. One experience we’re all living through is the pandemic. We’re learning new coping skills and are looking forward to normality.
3. Courage. Recognizing, we sometimes become afraid (like transitioning into retirement), but we muster our strength to overcome our fear.
4. Sense of Freedom. Having choice. As a retired person, I can sit and wait for whatever comes along, or I can tackle the challenges and opportunities of retiring.
5. Proactivity. Actively participating in creating your destiny. An example is, building your own realistic and well-rounded vision of retirement and creating and implementing a plan to make it happen.
6. Security. Living who you are on the inside. Being true to yourself, including making your own decisions on all aspects of retirement, rather than being influenced by others. One example is, listening to your financial advisor but continually retaining your decision-making.
7. Health. Health and happiness are interdependent. It’s hard to feel happy if you don’t feel healthy, and vice versa. As part of your retirement planning, build and practice a health and wellness strategy, including regular exercise.
8. Spirituality. Having a connection to a higher power, spirit, God, or religion. Successful retirees all talk about the need to think outside our self, which can be translated into using your artistic abilities, communing with nature, or revisiting your religious roots.
9. Altruism. Helping others. Most successful and happy retirees participate in volunteering and helping others. This fulfills their sense of purpose and personal satisfaction.
10. Perspective. Being able to see shades of grey and knowing how to prioritize problems (challenges) into possibilities and opportunities. Being open-minded to finding and using a mentor, plus being open to input and guidance.
11. Humour. Being able to laugh at yourself and being less serious. Many retirees report that they had to adopt a lighter approach. This is an important part of improving spousal/partner communications.
12. Purpose. Understanding why you are here on this earth and doing the things you were meant to do. Successful retirees have given considerable thought to how they want to be remembered. They identify what’s truly important in their life and take action to make it happen. Harry B. said he wanted to be remembered as a fabulous granddad. He attends most of his grandson’s sporting events, helps out at his school, takes him on camping trips, and plays with him in the yard. Spending time with his grandson nurtures his relationship and creates living memories for both.
Exercise:
Here is an exercise designed to help you build happiness. Over the next month, review the list of qualities for happiness. Select one or more to focus on. For example, taking action on things you have been procrastinating (becoming proactive); extending yourself to help someone else for the joy of it (altruism); or taking better care of your body (health).
At the end of the 30 days, celebrate taking another step to increasing your happiness level, and enriching your retirement.