A. Identify reasons why you feel lonely. Consider the following questions to help you determine why you feel lonely.
- When do I feel lonely?
- Do certain people make me feel more lonely than others?
- How long have I been feeling this way?
B. Keep a journal to track thoughts and feelings. Journaling is a great way to better understand your feelings. By listing how you feel, when and how it affects you, you’re able to identify possible causes and examine your coping strategies – what works, what doesn’t.
C. Engage in relaxation techniques. Physical exercise, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation and/or visionalization can give your body and mind a well-deserved break. When you feel stress and tension building these activities help calm you and help fight increased levels of stress.
D. Talk to a trusted friend. When facing a stressful challenge or change, talk to a friend or family member. Share your concerns and ask for their thoughts and suggestions on how to handle the situation. Your support network can supply you with sympathy, understanding, objectivity, knowledge and encouragement. Remember, you are not alone. Your friends and family are there to support and help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance just as you would be willing to assist someone needing help.
E. Move forward. Instead of dwelling on how alone you feel, do things to get your mind off your loneliness. Take a walk, read a book, explore activities and hobbies, go to a nice restaurant with a friend or yourself, take yourself out to a movie, etc. If you don’t have someone to go out with, don’t let that stop you from getting out and enjoying yourself. It is not strange to be by yourself and out doing things!
F. Get involved. To make new friends, get out and get involved. Take a class, volunteer within your community, join a social club such as Probus or a service group – Rotary/Lions/ Big Brothers & Sisters, etc. Making new friends often requires you taking the first step. Don’t wait for people to approach you – show interest in other people.
G. Spend time with family. Working to deepen the relationships with your family may help you stop feeling lonely. Even if you don’t have a great relationship with a family member, ongoing repair can be as simple as starting with an invitation to lunch or coffee.
H. Join an online community. Connecting with people can be as simple as interacting online with those who have similar interests. Online communities can be valuable ways for you to share thoughts and experience or ask questions of those who are going through similar situations. A word of caution: when online, be vigilant. Not everyone is who they say they are, and predators often feed off loneliness.
I. Join a gym. Working out and taking care of our body is one way to reduce stress and feel better about yourself physically and mentally. With my gym buddies, we are there not only for the exercise but as importantly, the social camaraderie.
Loneliness is when you are unhappy to be alone. Solitude is when you are happy to be alone. There is nothing wrong with solitude, wanting to, or enjoying being alone. The important thing is knowing the difference between loneliness and being alone.
Hopefully the above will be of assistance if, and when you experience loneliness. I wish you the best. In an effort to share your discoveries with others, I encourage you to drop me a note indicating how your thinking and actions regarding conquering loneliness is unfolding. Your insights and words of wisdom will be made available to others who follow in your footsteps.
Yours sincerely,
Rick Atkinson
Ramgt75@rogers.com
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